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I feel like I need to add my two cents here, since I'm definitely an INTJ, but I disagree with most of these answers. At first I thought that it was because I'm a woman, but now I suspect it's something else.
The biggest thing to understand about an INTJ is that we are entirely pragmatic, meaning that we look at life with a realistic, sensible lens to take our lofty, ambitious goals (goal driven) and make them into discrete, achievable steps. We're always working toward a high goal by completing smaller, planned actions.
Life is a game. Situations are puzzles. Really, life is the best game. People need to be figured out, so I can best predict what they'll do. This makes business quite fun. I'm a product manager and business is a huge strategy game with many players, lots of moving pieces, and lots of competition internally and externally. I can't tell you how much fun this is. Life is my favorite game.
People are tiring after a while, but we can choose to love them. Because of the incredible pragmatic approach most INTJs have about life, we realize that interaction with people is necessary to achieve our high ambitions in life. Sometimes we actually enjoy people, too. I'm being facetious. We're still people and, although we approach life pragmatically, we can still choose to love people. I'm married and have an amazing daughter. I still remember when I made a choice to love my husband (when we were dating). I choose to love my family every day. Love, to me, is not a feeling I get all the time, but a choice to put their well-being before my own. They're not pawns to be used, but people to cherish. That said, being an introvert, I need some time each day to be by myself and recharge.
Confidence can be confused with arrogance. Most everything I say is said with a tone of confidence. I make statements, not guesses, not hedged bets, and I make these statements confidently. That comes across sometimes in a know-it-all or arrogant tone. Communication is all about relaying information from one brain to other brains, right? Therefore, it doesn't matter what the communicator intended, but what the listener heard. I've worked on my tone throughout the years. Instead of arrogant or authoritarian tones, I've tried to tone it down to soft confidence. This helps me achieve my goals. See: pragmatic above.
Information is a golden, delightful web. Oh, goodness, am I curious. I'm like a little, inefficient sponge. I wish I could remember everything that was thrown my way, because then I could make connections and see patterns more efficiently. Do you see my thinking here? I'm constantly striving for more information, but for a reason. I need to constantly gather information, to help me see patterns (which INTJs tend to see with ease), and use those patterns to inform my life strategy, which is broken into discrete steps to help achieve my lofty goals.
Every process needs to be efficient and eventually standardized. Time is a precious commodity. We can always make more money, but you can't make more time. Time is out of our control. Therefore, everything we do needs to take as little time as possible, which means it needs to be the best product, best process as possible to reduce any time spent in the future. Processes should be standardized, so we reduce the time spent on anything similar in the future. In fact, I can't do something without thinking about how to make it more efficient - even making a sandwich or putting my daughter in her car seat. I mean, really, every single thing I do needs to be efficient. I've had to learn how to enjoy people, love people and not put this need for efficiency above relationships. It's a process.
My approach is direct. Oh dear, this has been a hurtle. My language is direct (reason: see efficiency paragraph above). I say what I mean, no more and no less. You can read between the lines, but then you'll be inferring something that wasn't intended. You'd think that this would make me a bad negotiator, but I've learned to work with my directness to be a different and effective negotiator. My writing, on the other hand, tends to have more than one meaning, but it's apparent only to those to whom it's intended. Problem solving quickly favors to the most direct and realistic approach possible. My relationships are direct and defined. Conversations are direct, so it's difficult for an INTJ to maintain small talk, although I see the importance of it now, so I've learned the small talk skill.
I agree with what others have written. Ideas are our forte. We identify with our ideas.
An authority figure doesn't mean much to INTJs, but their capabilities definitely do. If our supervisor or the CEO has great vision and strategy, we'll gladly follow, but if their ideas and direction don't make sense, good luck getting an INTJ to go along with the plan. We can't do something that doesn't make sense. We just can't. I'm trying to figure out a way to explain why, but I can't. We live with meaning in every action and see the outcome of our actions very clearly.
I could go on, but you can read other answers. Most are pretty good.
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